Chapter 78 – Love you instead of him

On this deep autumn night, I chose to go along with Mi Cai’s plan. We drove home together to get my guitar, then came to a plaza by the lake. This plaza would be bustling in the summer, but now it was deep autumn, and few people came here for leisure after dusk.

Mi Cai and I sat cross-legged on the lawn, bathed in the gentle glow of the streetlights. The wind seemed to soften under the filtered light.

I tested the sound of the guitar and asked Mi Cai, “Now we’re entering the ‘you request, I sing’ segment. What song do you want to hear? I’ll try my best to satisfy.”

“Just play whatever you like.”

After some thought, I chose to play “Winter” by the Good Sister Band. I chose this song to warm up the atmosphere because I really liked its lyrics.

“The colder it gets, the snowflakes fluttering in winter, the year I passed by your door, the street we strolled together; the more distant, the hazy season of youth, your smile frozen in the wind, like snow drowning my eyes, time has passed for many years, flowers fall, people scatter, I want to ask the clouds, is there rain made from your longing; the moon falls, the crows cry, frost fills the sky, the sea once turned into mulberry fields, spring leaves, autumn comes again, do you still remember me…”

I ended the song with a long note, lost in my own world. Mi Cai clapped for me with a smile of approval. I smiled back, lit a cigarette out of habit after singing, and passed the guitar to Mi Cai, asking, “Can you play? I feel like you can!”

Mi Cai showed me her hands, which were manicured.

“So you’re saying you can play, but it’s inconvenient?” I asked.

“I learned a bit when I was studying abroad and had some free time,” Mi Cai nodded.

“I think your temperament is more suited to playing the piano, while a woman like CC would be good at playing the guitar.”

“You seem to have a clear understanding of women’s temperaments.”

I exhaled a puff of smoke and laughed, “Studying women is the only pleasure left in my life… Ah! Otherwise, how could I endure the changing seasons over and over again?”

Mi Cai chuckled, acknowledging my words. I put out my cigarette, lay back on the grass, and looked at the starry sky. The autumn wind made me feel a bit drowsy, or perhaps it had nothing to do with the wind, maybe the night was just too quiet.

The faint scent of Mi Cai drifted into my nostrils with the breeze, making me feel at ease and comfortable. Gradually, I closed my eyes and began to feel sleepy.

After a while, Mi Cai nudged me and said, “Zhao Yang, could you sing ‘Love’s Proverb’ for me again?”

I sat up and looked at her, remembering how she had cried when I played this song in her car not long ago. I realized that there must be a story in this song that she couldn’t forget.

Afraid that she would cry again, I asked, “Are you sure you want to hear it?”

Mi Cai nodded firmly.

“Alright, but after I finish singing, you have to tell me your story with this song. Last time…”

Mi Cai interrupted me, “Just sing.”

I didn’t get a definite answer from Mi Cai, but I couldn’t force it. As long as she wanted to listen at this moment, I would sing for her. Let everything take its course and let this autumn night continue to be simple.

I strummed the guitar again, interpreting this song of great love with the lowest voice.

Just as I sang the line, “Love is something no one can understand, love is an eternal melody, love is the process of laughter and tears falling, love was once me and you…” Mi Cai’s tears had already fallen. Her face was filled with heartfelt sorrow.

I didn’t stop singing because of this. I knew Mi Cai wouldn’t want me to stop, because this song contained her memories. Interrupting her memories would be cruel to her at this moment.

I slowly finished this soothing song, and Mi Cai was already crying like a child. In my memory, she was a strong woman who would never cry easily, but this song touched the softest part of her heart.

The quiet night, the blowing wind, the crying woman, made me, a man, feel a sense of tenderness. I gently pulled Mi Cai into my arms, stroked her hair, and wiped away her tears.

Mi Cai didn’t struggle. She leaned against me for a long time, choking back sobs, and said to me, “Do you know… this was my father’s favorite song… When I was 15, he took me to Luo Dayou’s concert in Nanjing. The venue was noisy and crowded, but when this song was played, the whole place fell silent. My father whispered to me that he would always love me, that I was the person he loved most in his life, but… he didn’t keep his promise, he was a liar… but I really miss him… he must be very lonely in that world!…”

Mi Cai was sobbing uncontrollably, clinging to me like a girl lacking a sense of security. At this moment, I finally understood why she hated it so much when people broke their promises. It was because her father, Mi Zhongxin, didn’t keep his promise to always love her. But life is so unpredictable, a great promise about love was destroyed in a car accident… But I believe, if there really is another world, Mi Zhongxin would keep his promise and always love his daughter, Mi Cai.

The breeze blew, leaving me at a loss. I didn’t know how to comfort her. After a long time, I said in a deep voice, “Don’t cry… Soon, there will be a man who will love you and protect you in place of your father. And he will love you longer, forever, without an end.”Mi Cai didn’t respond to my comfort, but she leaned closer to me. I couldn’t help but gaze into the distance, asking myself: Is there really a river of happiness in this world? If there is, at this moment, I would like to hold this woman’s hand, jump into this river, and even if I’m exhausted, I would hold onto her until we reach the end of the river.


The night grew deeper, and the cool breeze swept past us under the moonlight. Mi Cai finally detached herself from me. She tidied up her hair, which was wet with her own tears, and looked into the unlit darkness in the distance. There was no longer any weakness in her expression. After a long while, she turned to look at me and said, “Zhao Yang, I hope you will return to Suzhou, but I won’t force you. If you can’t find a suitable job in Xuzhou and feel that Suzhou is more suitable for your development, come to me. I will help you arrange it.”

I put the guitar back in its case and jokingly asked, “If I return to Suzhou, would you be willing to give me that room?”

Mi Cai was taken aback for a moment, then said, “If you are willing to go back, I can give it to you.”

I smiled, slung the guitar over my shoulder, and said softly to Mi Cai, “Let’s go, I’ll take you back to the hotel… By the way, are you really going to stay in Xuzhou for a few more days? I can take you around to see the sights in Xuzhou.”

“No need, I’ve said what I needed to say, and done what I needed to do. You can make the rest of the decisions yourself. I will return to Suzhou tomorrow morning.”

I wasn’t surprised by Mi Cai’s hasty departure. After all, such a large corporation as Zhuo Mei needed her to manage. Even though she had only spent a day and a half in Xuzhou, it was already a long time for her, who was always busy. I just hoped that she could resolve the internal conflicts within Zhuo Mei as soon as possible after she returned, so she could be more at ease and relaxed!

As I walked side by side with Mi Cai towards the car, I said to her, “What time are you leaving tomorrow morning? I’ll see you off.”

“7 o’clock. But you don’t need to, I drove here myself, it’s very convenient.”

“You came to Xuzhou to see me after all, so I should see you off.”

“Well, as you wish.”

I nodded, and as we walked and talked, the night seemed to deepen a bit more.


Second update

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