Proofreader & Editor: Peter Pan
Le Yao and I chose a quaint teahouse by the Xitang River. We sat on the third floor, enjoying the night view of Xitang while sipping tea and chatting.
Our conversation was brief before Le Yao was recognized by other patrons in the teahouse for her celebrity status. They requested autographs and photos, and after obliging them, she donned her oversized sunglasses once again to avoid further recognition.
I teased her with schadenfreude, "That's it, you've lost your private life from now on!"
"Do you think that's a bad thing?"
After some thought, I replied, "Probably not for you, since this is the life you've always dreamt of."
"But I'll get tired of it someday."
"Then enjoy it until you do."
Le Yao nodded and fell silent, lost in thought, and in her silence, I pondered my own concerns.
A logical inconsistency suddenly struck me. Mi Cai should have known about the 500,000 yuan business compensation I received from Jian Wei. So why did she think I needed to borrow money for my departure from Suzhou?
The only explanation was that she had approached Jian Wei, or Jian Wei had approached her.
But what did that mean for me?
I didn't fully understand, nor did I want to delve deeper, because at that moment, I was in Xitang, far from Suzhou, and some things were better left unstarted. So I told myself not to dwell on past loves and hates.
***
As the night deepened, the teahouse owner informed Le Yao and me that it was closing time, and we reluctantly left.
Wandering the cobblestone alleys again, I asked her, "How long are you planning to stay in Xitang this time?"
"About a week, but if it's inconvenient for you, we can go our separate ways here."
"Sure, let's do that."
Le Yao took off her sunglasses and glared at me.
"Why the glare?"
"Don't I even have the right to be insincere in front of you?"
"Insincerity is for petty women, and you're now a shining star!" I joked, unfazed.
"Yeah, why would a big shot like me come to Xitang to find a nobody like you… I'm going back to Beijing tomorrow!"
"What time are you leaving? I'll see you off if I can get up."
Le Yao looked at me frantically and then beckoned with a finger, "Come here, let me strangle you!"
I stood my ground, "Go ahead."
Le Yao stepped closer but instead of strangling me, she hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I can't bear to strangle you… Zhao Yang, you need to work hard. Everyone around you is progressing. If you stay where you are, it'll only bring more pain."
"I understand…"
***
It wasn't until almost 11 p.m. that I bid farewell to Le Yao and returned to the hostel, where my roommate was still in bed, engrossed in a TV drama on his laptop.
I lay on my bed, planning to rest before washing up.
After a while, my roommate finally finished his drama, set aside his laptop, and asked me, "Brother Yang, why are you back so late? It's past 11!"
"A friend came by, and I spent some time with her."
"Who? A guy or a girl?"
"Le Yao."
He became furious, "Brother Yang… are you serious with the same joke? Do you really look down on me that much, treating me like a fool?"
"No, no, don't overthink it!"
He persisted, "You're even more of a loser than me, always fantasizing about Le Yao. I suggest you snap back to reality. Too much obsession isn't good!"
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry and chose to ignore him, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. But a thought began to grow amidst the smoke, becoming uncontrollable.
Finally, I took out my phone from my backpack, lit another cigarette, and asked my roommate, who was playing online games, "What's the Wi-Fi password for this room?"
"Brother Yang, you actually use the internet! I thought you were above worldly concerns. You haven't taken a single call these days!"
"Password."
He quickly replied, "667766."
I took a deep drag, connected to the network, and as soon as I entered the password, dozens of push notifications started buzzing, stimulating my senses.
Most messages were from CC and Circle, but Mi Cai had only sent two: one asking where I was, and the other telling me to contact her after seeing the message.
She was as calm as ever, at least that's how she appeared on WeChat.
Her calmness affected me, and without overthinking, I replied as planned: "I'm fine!"
Without giving me a moment to breathe, she responded, "Where are you?"
"In a place where I can rise from the ashes."
"Will you return to Suzhou?"
That question stumped me. Since I'd discarded my guitar, my luggage was light—a single travel bag held all my belongings from Suzhou. I could flit between cities like a gust of wind.
So, with a sense of lightness I'd conjured up for myself, I replied to Mi Cai, "No, I've taken everything I had in that city with me."
It took Mi Cai a long time to reply: "I understand."
I stared at her message, feeling an inexplicable sense of loss. Perhaps I had taken everything tangible with me, but the whispers of intimacy remained there, unable to be carried away.
***
Not wanting to wallow in this indescribable loss, I decisively turned off my phone, determined not to turn it on again during my time in Xitang.
After washing up in the bathroom, I lay straight on the bed, staring at the ceiling in silence until my roommate spoke.
"Brother Yang, have you decided what takeout you want for lunch tomorrow?"
"I don't want takeout tomorrow."
"Then what?"
"Let's go out together. My friend is still in Xitang. We've made plans."
He seemed conflicted, "I really don't like going out for lunch…"
"Then stay and have takeout here."
"Is your friend a man or a woman?"
"Does it matter?"
He nodded seriously, "Of course it matters. If it's a woman, I might be willing to force myself to go out!"
I teased him, "It's a woman, but not very pretty."
"As long as she's a woman!"
"Why bother?"
"I've been in Xitang for so long, and besides shopping, I haven't even spoken to a woman. You understand, right?"
At that moment, I couldn't help but worry deeply for my roommate. Even if he spent his whole life in Xitang, a place full of chance encounters, he might never escape being a virgin!