At 7 p.m., I walked along the bustling and crowded streets, stepping in and out of the shadows, following the flow of people. I wanted to light up a cigarette, but I gave up the idea and instead bought two skewers of meat to satisfy my craving for a smoke.

After finishing the skewers, I bought a few small sesame balls and continued my journey, eating as I walked. I managed to forget about the troubles that had been bothering me, immersing myself in a relaxed world of my own making.

However, as I approached the coffee shop where I was supposed to meet Li Xiaoyun, my relaxed world shattered in an instant, and I was dragged back into the frustrating reality.

I threw the bag of food into a trash can and took a deep breath before heading into the coffee shop. As I walked, I imagined what Li Xiaoyun might look like now. Subconsciously, I felt she might have changed.

She was sitting in the same corner as before, wearing a red coat, drinking coffee and reading a magazine. She seemed more mature than before.

I approached her, and she looked up at me, then smiled and said, “You’re here!”

“Yes, I walked all the way here. I’m five minutes late, sorry!”

“It’s okay, sit down.”

I nodded and sat down across from Li Xiaoyun. To cover up the awkwardness of not having anything to talk about, I ordered something and picked up a magazine to read.

For the next five minutes, Li Xiaoyun and I didn’t say a word to each other, which made it seem like our meeting was merely a formality.

Finally, Li Xiaoyun closed her magazine and asked, “Zhao Yang, aren’t we going to talk about anything? We’re not strangers!”

I also closed my magazine, smiled, and said, “Let’s chat… How have you been lately?”

Li Xiaoyun shook her head.

“What, are you having difficulties in life?”

“I shook my head not because I’m doing well or not, but because I feel you’ve changed. I can’t see the carefree and easy-going person you were when we first met.”

“Really? So what do I look like now?”

“You seem lost, helpless, and somewhat cowardly… Am I right?”

I subconsciously looked at my reflection in the window, but all I could see was a blurry outline. I couldn’t tell if I was lost or cowardly.

Li Xiaoyun wiped some condensation off the window, and my reflection suddenly became clear.

“Zhao Yang, you need to shave your beard! And you should take care of your hair.”

I touched my chin, feeling the discomfort of my stubble, then touched my hair, which felt greasy. I could faintly smell the scent of tobacco on me. I admired my audacity to go on a date with a girl looking like this.

I gave Li Xiaoyun an apologetic smile. In reality, a man looking unkempt on a date with a woman is disrespectful, but I didn’t think much about it. Maybe it was because we were close, or maybe I didn’t care about making a good impression on her.

Suddenly, Li Xiaoyun stood up and said, “Let’s go.”

I looked at Li Xiaoyun, confused, but then I understood. Our date was over. I guess my disheveled appearance didn’t inspire her to chat. After all, this was just a date to appease our families, so there was no need to make a big deal out of it.

I paid the bill at the cashier and left the building with Li Xiaoyun. As I was about to say goodbye to her, she had already walked towards the parking lot. I gave a bitter smile and sighed inwardly, “Zhao Yang, what kind of mess have you become, making women want to avoid you?”

I lit a cigarette and turned to walk towards the other side of the street, but Li Xiaoyun’s car blocked my way. She rolled down the window and said, “Zhao Yang, put out your cigarette. I’m taking you to a hair salon.”

“Huh?” I was taken aback and stared at Li Xiaoyun in confusion.

“Get in the car. A man should always look energetic, especially during the New Year. You can’t look so downcast.”

…

Li Xiaoyun drove me to a hair salon in a shopping mall. She showed her VIP card, and I was led by a staff member to wash my hair. Then began the long process of getting a haircut and shaving. During this time, Li Xiaoyun sat next to me, and we started to chat.

This time, I took the initiative to ask Li Xiaoyun, “Xiaoyun, you haven’t told me how you’ve been lately!”

Li Xiaoyun smiled and replied, “I’ve been living the same routine life as before, going to work and coming home. But two months is enough time to figure out a lot of things.”

Of course, I knew the two months she was referring to were the two months since we broke up. After an uncomfortable silence, I asked, “What have you figured out?”

“There’s no need to tell you that. Let’s talk about your life instead. How’s your friend’s bar doing?”

“It’s not bad, it’s almost on track.”

“Since your work is going well, your current state of decay must be related to your emotions, right?”

Li Xiaoyun really was good at customer relationship management. She was very perceptive and saw right through me. But I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my feelings with her, so I just smiled and remained silent. She didn’t ask any more questions. After telling me to “go shopping for some stuff”, she left for a while.

Thanks to the hairstylist’s efforts, I finally managed to freshen up after a short while. At least I didn’t look so disheveled anymore. Almost at the same time, Li Xiaoyun, who had finished her shopping, returned to the hair salon. She looked at me, quite satisfied, and expressed her gratitude to the hairstylist.

After leaving the hair salon, we stood side by side outside the mall. There was a considerable gap between our bodies, but our reflections in the shop window were incredibly close.

Li Xiaoyun took out a box of perfume from her shopping bag and handed it to me, saying, “This is for you. This men’s perfume is pretty good. It has a light scent, but it’s enough to mask the smell of tobacco on you.”

“Xiaoyun, I feel really embarrassed and awkward about you giving me gifts!”

Li Xiaoyun said seriously, “You don’t need to feel embarrassed. This perfume and the cost at the hair salon total 562 yuan. Last time, I took 1000 yuan from you, so this is your own money.”

Only when Li Xiaoyun reminded me did I remember that she had indeed taken 1000 yuan from me when we broke up. But I never knew why she took the money.

Li Xiaoyun put the perfume back into the shopping bag and stuffed the bag into my hand. She smiled and said to me, “Zhao Yang, cheer up. Think about how spirited you were when you were working in Xuzhou. The leaders in the company still regret your departure… Life will inevitably have lows, but it’s not the lows that are scary, it’s the lack of ability to get out of them. So, I hope you can always stay confident and be a capable and charming man!”

The long-lost touch seemed to melt my heart. I stared at Li Xiaoyun for a long time before saying, “Thank you, Xiaoyun. I’m very fortunate to have the opportunity to be transformed by you tonight. I will always remember this night.”

“You don’t have to thank me. In fact, you’ve also made me realize some things. This is also a kind of help for me. My actions now are just a way of returning the favor!”

I was a bit puzzled, wondering what I had made Li Xiaoyun realize. But I had already asked, and she didn’t want to tell me.

Li Xiaoyun said to me again, “Here’s another 438 yuan. It can be used to treat your next bout of depression. Of course, I hope you won’t need this money.”

“I hope so too.”

Li Xiaoyun smiled, looked at her watch and said, “It’s getting late. I should go home and rest.”

“Alright, be careful on your way.”

Li Xiaoyun nodded, waved at me, and then walked towards the underground parking lot of the mall. Watching her leave, I felt a strange mix of emotions. I felt even more guilty for not appreciating her kindness towards me. Suddenly, I was reluctant to pawn the engagement ring.

———————