Mi Cai put down her suitcase, glanced at the instant noodles on the table and asked, “Is this all you’re having for lunch?”

“Eating instant noodles is convenient.” After saying this, he looked at her suitcase and asked, “Are you here to collect your luggage?”

“Mm, I came to get some clothes. I have a flight tomorrow afternoon.”

His already bad mood worsened with Mi Cai’s response, to the point where he didn’t want to talk anymore. He picked up the soggy noodles and started eating.

Mi Cai glanced at me, didn’t say anything more, and dragged her suitcase towards her room.

Watching her disappear from my sight, I suddenly lost my appetite for instant noodles. I found a jacket to put on, planning to take a walk downstairs and buy a pack of cigarettes from the convenience store.

…

Outside, the sun generously sprinkled warm rays onto the ground. Although the wind was a bit chilly, it stirred the white clouds in the blue sky. Everything was so beautiful, as if trying to comfort my chaotic soul.

I bought a pack of cigarettes and sat on the electric carousel horse outside the convenience store, smoking. I didn’t want to think about anything, but once again, I felt the decay of living day by day.

I was a bit annoyed with myself, so I took out a few coins from my pocket and inserted them into the carousel horse. My body started to sway with the horse.

A few minutes passed, the horse stopped swaying. I inserted another coin, and the cycle repeated. I didn’t care about the mocking or misunderstanding looks from passersby.

In the midst of the swaying, I lit another cigarette for myself, then habitually pulled out the thin film from the cigarette pack and looked up at the sky.

I seemed to see the outline of that city again, my heart filled with surprise. I was eager to see the woman in the city clearly, but apart from her long hair hanging over her shoulders, I couldn’t see her face… My heart became more anxious, afraid that after this fleeting opportunity, I would never see this city and the woman in the city again.

I wished I could stand up from the horse, but suddenly a voice broke my illusion.

The city in the sky gradually disappeared, but Mi Cai’s face became clearer. She waved her hand in front of me and asked, “Zhao Yang, what are you doing?”

“Riding the carousel horse!” I said, inserting another coin into the slot. The horse started to sway again, singing a nursery rhyme.

“Isn’t it overloaded?”

“No, I play on it often!”

“Oh… then let me play for a while.”

I pointed to the carousel horse next to me and said, “You can ride that one, I still have several coins!”

Mi Cai put down her suitcase, then climbed onto the other carousel horse. I threw her a coin and said, “Just insert it into the coin slot.”

Mi Cai nodded, inserted the coin, and the horse started to sway and sing.

I didn’t pay attention to Mi Cai beside me, continued smoking, swaying with the rhythm, thinking about my own thoughts.

“Zhao Yang… Zhao Yang, can you give me another coin?” After a while, Mi Cai spoke to me again.

I nodded, threw her another coin, and wanted to insert one into my own horse, but gave up. I knew Mi Cai would ask me for more, and I only had two coins left. Seeing her enjoying herself, I decided to let her play…

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Mi Cai asked me for coins again. This time, I threw both coins to her. After she thanked me, she started playing again.

Then a strange phenomenon occurred. The originally mocking gazes all turned into kind smiles. I didn’t understand this change until I looked at Mi Cai beside me. A man playing on such a horse is called a lunatic, while a beautiful woman playing is called innocent.

Look, there are so many inequalities between us. Why should I, with my humble soul, crave her to accommodate me? So if she wants to go to America, let her go. I don’t have to be upset about it.

“Zhao Yang, what are you thinking about?” Mi Cai asked me.

“Just play, don’t mind me.”

Mi Cai got off the horse, walked up to me, and said, “Let me treat you to a meal. You didn’t even finish your instant noodles.”

“I just came down to buy cigarettes, I’ll eat when I go back.”

“Isn’t it better if I treat you to a meal? Your noodles are all soggy!”

“Really, it’s not necessary. Aren’t you going to America tomorrow? You should go back and rest!”

Mi Cai finally stopped insisting, but she took out her phone and took a picture of me smoking on the carousel horse. Then she picked up her suitcase and said to me, “I’m leaving then!”

“Delete the photo you just took!” I said with a displeased expression.

“Who cares… you stole my photos!”

I tried to jump off the horse, but stumbled. Mi Cai had already run to her car with her suitcase and disappeared into the traffic…

I couldn’t swear anymore, just stared blankly in the direction she left.

I felt a bit melancholic: it would be a long time before I saw her again, wouldn’t it?

I felt a bit desolate: perhaps the life she was about to start in America would make her fall for Wei Ran. Because in this fast-paced era, a month can change a lot, a lot…

…Returning home, I finished the soggy noodles and then crawled back into bed for a nap.

I had a nightmare. In it, Mi Cai had returned from America, but she was wearing a wedding ring and inviting me to her wedding with Wei Ran.

I woke up in a cold sweat, realizing that the dream had left me feeling weak and breathless. I quickly poured myself a glass of water, sipping it to alleviate the suffocating emotions.

After finishing the water, I looked out the window. The sky had already darkened, and the row of street lamps in the distance were casting frivolous light onto the dull earth in their unchanging posture. Yet, the warmth emanating from the countless lights in the distance made people overlook the street lamps’ teasing of the earth. As a result, the street lamps became even more unrestrained, and the earth slowly learned to endure. But who could understand the helplessness and pain beneath this endurance?

I slapped my face to wake myself up, quickly got dressed, and headed to the bar.

Driving on the crowded streets, I felt that this city, soon to be without Mi Cai, was so empty. It was as if her laughter, her tears, her joy, and her pain were what gave this city its charm…

At this moment, I realized that it wasn’t that the city lacked charm, but that she had become my everything in this city!

…

In the bar, CC and I found a corner, smoking and chatting.

CC looked around the bar and said to me, “Zhao Yang, our bar’s occupancy rate is nearly 70% today, much better than I expected!”

I nodded. Indeed, the bar’s operation was much better than we initially expected, but we still needed to continue promoting it. A 70% occupancy rate could only serve as the foundation for our business.

CC flicked the ash off her cigarette and said, “Mi Cai is going to America tomorrow, did you know?”

“I know, she came to my place today to pick up some clothes.”

CC smiled and said, “You must be reluctant to let her go, right?”

I stubbornly replied, “Not really.”

“I heard that someone wants to invite Mi Cai to spend the New Year in Xuzhou!”

“CC… Damn it! Can you stop being so cryptic? Who else could it be but me who has anything to do with Xuzhou!”

After my complaint, CC gloated, “But Mi Cai and Wei Ran are going to America…”

“Believe it or not, I’ll strangle you!” I glared at CC.

But my reaction only made CC shake her head and sigh, “Zhao Yang, do you know how Mi Cai feels about you?”

My heart rate suddenly increased as I stared blankly at CC. I believed that if CC asked me this, then Mi Cai must have mentioned her feelings for me to her.

I wanted to know the truth, but I was also reluctant to uncover it, because the truth could mean pain.