Although every woman present was beautiful, it didn’t necessarily correlate with singing a duet. It seemed a bit awkward to sing with anyone, so I decided to sing alone.

So, I said to Yan Yan, who was acting as the host, “You know I’m used to being a loner, so I’ll sing solo.”

Yan Yan joked, “Are you afraid that someone will steal your thunder?”

I smiled and then said seriously, “This song is suitable for a solo performance. I really like it. Can you give me a chance to perform?”

Yan Yan finally didn’t insist, and the women present were very calm. None of them showed much interest in the so-called duet. This was understandable. After all, I didn’t have Robben’s musical talent or the dazzling aura that Wei Ran had. So, the choice to sing solo seemed wise at this moment. Although it was a bit lonely, it didn’t matter. I didn’t care about collaborating with any of them.

I came to the center of the small stage and called Robben over. The song I was going to sing had a dense drumbeat. Robben was the best at controlling the drum set. The heavy bass also ran through the whole song, so the bass part was performed by CC. However, the piano part at the end of the song was missing a performer because Little Wu and the band members had gone to the bar after delivering the musical equipment.

I said to everyone, “Next, I’m going to sing Radiohead’s ‘Creep’. There’s a small part at the end that needs piano accompaniment. Who can help?”

Wei Ran replied, “This song is not bad. I’ll take care of the piano part.”

I had no objection to Wei Ran’s self-recommendation. Although I was too casual with him, music should be barrier-free. Bringing personal emotions into music is a blasphemy to music.

Just as I was about to nod and invite Wei Ran, Mi Cai suddenly said to him, “Abner, can you give me this opportunity? I also like this song very much and have always hoped to perform it live.”

Wei Ran seemed to obey Mi Cai’s words and immediately gave up the opportunity to participate. So, Mi Cai sat down at the piano under everyone’s gaze.

CC, Robben, and Mi Cai each signaled to me that they were ready. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, hoping that the song could be perfectly performed. I was confident because Robben, CC, and I had collaborated countless times, and the piano part that Mi Cai was responsible for was only a short section, which should also be no problem.

I opened my eyes and nodded to the three of them. Robben started to play the drums first. CC and I played the guitar and bass respectively, and the heavy metal music immediately filled the scene.

I didn’t imitate Radiohead’s singing style for this song. Sometimes I sang loudly, sometimes lowly, and the rhythm was sometimes fast and sometimes slow. Fortunately, CC and Robben were both live masters. Although we hadn’t rehearsed beforehand, they perfectly matched my singing rhythm.

“But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.” When I sang this line, my guitar started to roar. Robben gave a denser, heavier drumbeat, and CC’s finger with the pick also started to pull the thick strings of the bass, producing a heavy electric sound.

In the tearing sound, I was judging myself, because I was the coward and weirdo in the lyrics. I was a coward to the point of giving up on breaking free from the shackles of reality, and so strange that I disgusted myself.

“I wanna have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I’m not around…”

When I sang this part, my voice suddenly dropped, soft but low, full of pleading in the low tone…

Yes! I’ve had enough of my current life. I want a perfect soul, a perfect body, a crystal clear city, and… that woman with long hair over her shoulders. Even if she just looks back at me once, once is enough! But…

“She’s running out again. She’s running out. She runs, runs, runs, runs, runs…”

The whole song, accompanied by the heaviest drum sound, was pushed to the climax. In the roar, I seemed to fall into the scene of the song, seeing her who was running away from me. I tried my best to chase after her, asking her what she wanted, but she was so damn special, pushing me further and further away in silence…

Finally, Mi Cai began to press the keys of the electric piano. The urgent piano sound suddenly rang out, but it became more and more soothing, and finally ended… gradually returning to calm!

I closed my eyes, my fingers still tightly pulling the strings of the guitar. I hadn’t been so agitated while singing for a long time. I needed to calm down, not to reminisce, because the song had been perfectly performed!

There was no applause at the scene. Many people were looking at me as if I were a madman. I knew that my tearing and strange tone when singing had scared them. They couldn’t understand this way of performance.”Yes, I am a weirdo, that’s why I love this greasy rock and roll. After trudging through that gray period of my life, I no longer crave for others to understand me.”

Robben and CC both gave me a thumbs up, praising my reinterpretation of the song. However, Mi Cai lowered her head in silence, and then I was booed off the stage by the crowd.

I handed the stage back to CC, then pushed through the crowd, planning to go out and breathe in the night air, and smoke another cigarette.

In the crowd, a man patted my shoulder, with a kind smile he said, “Your rendition of ‘Creep’ is the best I’ve ever heard. You’ve captured the soul of the song. Well done!”

I returned his smile, feeling a bit relieved. Even if the whole world thinks I’m dirty, there are still a handful of people who can see the sparkle in me. That’s why I never wanted to live for the world, but for those few who understand me.

……

Stepping out of the mall, the giant neon sign of Zhuomei was still emitting dazzling light. The air was filled with the smell of dampness, as if it had just rained.

In the cold wind, I lit a cigarette for myself, enjoying the tranquility of being alone. But it wouldn’t last long. After finishing this cigarette, I would have to return to the event, end this impromptu mini concert, and then host a dinner for everyone.

I don’t know when, but Mi Cai quietly stood beside me. She said, “You really are a weirdo. You organized the concert, but you left several times!”

“You’re out here too!”

“It’s stuffy in the mall. Maybe others will come out later!”

Suddenly, I proposed, “Let’s make a bet on who will come out next.”

“What’s the bet?”

“Following the principle of betting for fun, you decide what to bet!”

Mi Cai thought for a moment and said, “Uh… okay, if I guess right, you have to go back and sing a more normal, more upbeat song, okay?”

“Are you denying the song I just sang?”

Mi Cai shook her head and said, “I’m not denying it, you sang very well… but, I don’t want you to live like the person in the song. I was very upset when I was immersed in your singing…”

I was silent for a moment, then said, “Alright, if I lose, I’ll go back and sing a normal song. But what if you lose?”

“I’ll treat everyone to dinner tonight.”

I quickly calculated in my mind, this was a win-win situation. If I lost, I would just have to sing a normal song. If I won, I would save a meal’s worth of money, which would be at least a thousand. So, I quickly agreed.

So, we each named three people. Mi Cai guessed: CC, Le Yao, and Jian Wei. I guessed: Circle, Robben, and Wei Ran. As for Yan Yan, she was the host and had to control the scene, so she definitely wouldn’t leave.

I felt confident about winning because Wei Ran was on my list. If he couldn’t find Mi Cai, he would definitely come out to look for her.

I lit another cigarette, admiring my own keen insight. Then, feeling pleased with myself, I turned with Mi Cai to look towards the exit, waiting for the answer to be revealed.

—–