Perhaps it was due to nervousness, but Mi Cai and I couldn’t maintain a consistent pace. Despite the cold winter, our hands were sweating. This reaction caught me off guard. What was happening to me? What was happening to Mi Cai? We were just holding hands.

A sudden tree blocked our path. To avoid it, I moved closer to Mi Cai. Unexpectedly, she also moved closer to me to avoid the tree. As a result, we bumped into each other without any coordination and instinctively let go of each other’s hands.

We finally looked at each other awkwardly, but this time, Mi Cai put her hand in her pocket.

This action made me feel a bit disappointed, and I felt like I had offended her. After a while, I said to her, “I didn’t mean anything by holding your hand. I usually hang out with Yan Yan… CC and the others!”

Mi Cai looked away, hesitated for a moment, and then said to me, “I know, you don’t have to explain.”

I finally nodded, then hailed a taxi. We had walked far enough and achieved our purpose of taking a walk. Continuing would probably make us feel awkward.

…

That night, Mi Cai didn’t stay at the bar for long. She left after only half an hour, which made me feel like I had offended her even more. I blamed myself for not being able to control myself, and I didn’t want this incident to cast a shadow over our relationship. So sometimes, not probing, not pointing out, is the best. At least we can still care for each other like before.

When I got home, I simply washed up and lay on the bed. Then I lit a cigarette and looked at the photo I had stolen from Mi Cai’s office. I was amused by her pouting, cute, and adorable expressions. But as I laughed, I felt a strange pain. I didn’t understand where this pain came from. Maybe it was because I felt sorry for her, or maybe it was because I couldn’t get close to her.

I gradually understood that I might have fallen in love with her subconsciously… But this was a terrifying thing for me, because subconsciously, I never thought we would be together. If we can’t be together, then this sudden love is so pale, so lonely, and in loneliness, there is no response… I can only look from afar.

I put out the cigarette in my hand, put Mi Cai’s photo in the pages of a book, turned off the light, and the room was dark, and loneliness was bright!

…

Another week passed quickly. During this week, I chose a renovation company, and the “Fifth Season” themed music bar officially entered its second renovation. And I finally had the most relaxed time since I returned to Suzhou. The only thing I had to do was to supervise the renovation of the bar every afternoon.

During this week, I didn’t contact Mi Cai, and she didn’t look for me either. It seemed like we had returned to being strangers. I wasn’t used to this strangeness at first, and I wanted to call her out several times, but gradually I restrained myself, and I completely cut off the idea of contacting her. This decision was based on the fact that I was no longer a man who was full of pursuit and expectation for love. I could give up all fantasies about love and live in self-entertainment.

On a sunny afternoon, I stayed at home and didn’t go anywhere. I sat on the sofa, controlling a remote-controlled car I bought a long time ago to kill time. But my mind was still on the marketing of the bar after its second opening. Until now, I haven’t come up with a good marketing plan. Because with limited funds, it’s really hard to convey the bar’s information to target consumers scattered everywhere.

In my frustration, I controlled the remote-controlled car to speed up in a straight line, put it in reverse, and turned the steering wheel. The car instantly drifted.

Just as I was playing with another drift, the door was suddenly opened, and then I saw Mi Cai. But Mi Cai was looking at the drifting remote-controlled car.

Finally, she asked me with a puzzled face, “Are you still playing with toy cars?”

“This is a remote-controlled car, not a toy car, okay?”

Mi Cai looked at it again and said, “I don’t see any difference.”

I put down the remote control in my hand, not wanting to continue this topic, and asked, “Why are you here?”

“To pick up some clothes.”

“Oh.” I responded mechanically.

Mi Cai looked at me, as if she wanted to say something, but in the end, she just said, “Then you continue playing. I’ll leave after I get my clothes.”

I didn’t respond to Mi Cai, picked up the remote control and started playing again. Mi Cai went into her room. About five minutes later, she came out with a handbag. She came to me and was silent for a while before saying, “…I’m leaving.”

I didn’t say anything, but controlled the car to hit her. Mi Cai dodged several times, and finally, annoyed, she kicked my remote-controlled car over, frowning and asking, “What are you doing?”

I didn’t want her to leave, but I didn’t know how to keep her. I left the sofa, righted the overturned car, and then controlled it to hit her again.

This time, Mi Cai kicked it over without hesitation and said angrily, “Zhao Yang, are you sick again?”

“Yes, I am sick. I have a mental illness!”

“Then you should go to a mental hospital.”

“I’ve given up treatment.”

Mi Cai looked at me speechlessly…

“Why don’t you get a mental illness too? We can play together as two lunatics.”

For this unreliable proposal, I thought Mi Cai would scold me, but unexpectedly, she asked with interest, “What are we going to play?”

I thought for a moment and said, “Let’s go to the square and play with the car.”

“Just this broken remote-controlled car.”

“Exactly.”

Mi Cai thought for a moment and said, “Let’s go then.”

Her easy agreement to my request surprised me a bit, but also made me happy. I didn’t mind acting like a lunatic and taking her to play with the remote-controlled car. So I quickly went to my room, packed the remote-controlled car in a bag, and then the “two lunatics” went downstairs together.

…Arriving at a nearby square, Mi Cai and I found a bench to sit on. I then took out a remote-controlled race car from my bag and started playing with it, while Mi Cai rested her chin on her hands, watching me play.

I began to show off various tricks, but Mi Cai didn’t applaud for me. Soon, I lost the motivation to continue playing and handed the remote to Mi Cai, asking, “Do you want to play?”

Mi Cai nodded and finally smiled as she took the remote from my hand. It was then that I realized: she had been deliberately ignoring me earlier, with the intention of making me feel bored, so that she could play.

I didn’t want to argue with her, so I lit a cigarette, leaned back on the bench, and pulled out a film from the cigarette box. I looked at the blue sky and white clouds, ignoring Mi Cai and not wanting to engage with her.

Mi Cai completely ignored my indifference. She imitated me, playing with the race car in a very professional manner. After a while, she tugged at my clothes and asked, “How did you do that drift earlier? It looked really cool!”

“Do you want to learn?”

Mi Cai nodded eagerly.

I glanced at a chubby kid who was controlling another race car nearby, then said to Mi Cai, “If you can use our car to flip that chubby kid’s car over, I’ll teach you.”

————————

9 p.m…… YY:309138, come play if you’re free.