Half an hour after Li Xiaoyun left, the whole Xitang Street lit up again. I blew out the candles in the candelabra, making the smoky scent in the air even stronger.

I sat back in the recliner, took out my phone from my pocket once more, and rested my finger on Mi Cai’s number for a long time, yet I still couldn’t bring myself to press it.

This hesitation made me extremely anxious, and in the end, I threw my phone onto the stone table beside me in frustration.

I stared blankly at the brightly lit Xitang Street in front of me and couldn’t help but ask myself: Why, in an era where Mercedes and BMWs race down the streets, is my own startup filled with nothing but thorns and troubles?

Is it that their success came too easily, or am I being too one-sided, only seeing their glamour?

At this moment, I was lost, but I dared not extinguish the flame of struggle within me. Thus, I was torn, experiencing the hardships of entrepreneurship for the first time amidst this agony.

The next day at noon, I took Li Xiaoyun to the Xitang bus station. She would transfer from there to Shanghai, and then fly directly to Xiamen.

When we parted, we didn’t offer each other any parting words. She just asked me for the 70 yuan left over from the haircut the day before. So, I still had 308 yuan temporarily in her keeping.

Finally, we hugged lightly, then headed towards our separate worlds. Her world would soon have the sea breeze, waves, and seafood of Gulangyu, while my world remained filled with the helplessness that comes after running out of money.

So, I didn’t go back to the hostel but drove the old van straight to Suzhou, because the only friends who could help me with the funds were there.

…

When I arrived in Suzhou again, it was already the afternoon. The first person I contacted was Yan Yan, as she controlled the financial power in their family. Borrowing money from her would be more efficient than from Circle.

Around four o’clock, Yan Yan took leave from her company to meet me. We met in a coffee shop in the city center, but this time she didn’t look as energetic as before; she seemed quite haggard.

I handed her the coffee I had ordered and asked, “Have you been very busy with work recently?”

Yan Yan took a sip of her coffee and replied, “It’s okay, the same as before. But what about you? Why did you suddenly come back to Suzhou?”

I found it difficult to broach the subject of borrowing money, so I just smiled and said, “I missed you, came back to see you.”

Yan Yan just looked at me, not cursing me with a “deadbeat” like she used to.

I leaned in closer to her and said, “I came all this way to see you, can’t you give me a smile?”

“Zhao Yang, stop it, I’m not in the mood.”

I finally realized something was wrong and asked anxiously, “Did something happen?”

Yan Yan suddenly choked up, and my heart tightened. I quickly handed her a tissue to wipe away her tears.

Yan Yan dabbed at the corners of her eyes with the tissue, still sobbing, and said to me, “Circle and I had a fight… He hasn’t come home for a week… We’ve never been apart for so long since we got together!”

Caught off guard, I asked somewhat awkwardly, “How did you end up fighting?”

“Recently he’s been coming home very late. That day… I couldn’t stand it anymore and lost my temper at him, and he got angry too. In the end, we had a huge fight, and he… moved out!”

I was silent for a long while before finally consoling her, “He’s now the planning department manager at Zhuomei, his work must be very busy, you should be a bit more understanding.”

“When he worked at Baoli Department Store, he was busy too, but it was rare for him to come home after midnight reeking of alcohol for several weeks in a row. Zhao Yang… tell me, how many women can endure this endlessly?” After saying this, Yan Yan burst into tears again.

“Why didn’t you tell me about such a long fight? Do you really consider me an outsider?”

“You have your own things to worry about… Besides, this time it got so bad, I really didn’t know how to bring it up with you guys!”

“No matter what happens, life has to go on… Don’t think too much, I’ll go find Circle right away. Some things, if not resolved quickly, will fester!”

Yan Yan nodded, her tone somewhat self-reproachful as she asked me, “Zhao Yang, am I too inconsiderate of him?… Sometimes when I see him so tired from work, I feel sorry for him, but…”

“When two people live together, it’s inevitable to bump into each other, so mutual understanding is very important. Take this fight as a learning process. Maybe Circle will also regret it after he calms down.”

Yan Yan didn’t speak, continuing to cry.

I asked her again, “Have you contacted Circle during these days he’s been away?”

Yan Yan shook her head, “I don’t think… it’s my fault. I’ve also been working hard to maintain this home. I really hope he can pay a bit more attention to me…”

As she spoke, Yan Yan’s expression became distant and pained. She pressed her hands against her forehead, sobbing uncontrollably, “Zhao Yang… I really want a child, but… but I don’t even dare to bring it up with him!… Isn’t that sad for a woman?”

I gently patted Yan Yan’s back to help her breathe more easily, but my own heart was getting heavier. Could it be that Yan Yan and Circle, the model couple, couldn’t withstand the test of time?

How long can one person keep accommodating another?

…

I persuaded Yan Yan to go home and rest, then drove to Zhuomei. On the way, I called Circle, and just as the waiting time was about to end, he answered the phone.

I got straight to the point, “I’m in Suzhou, are you free now? Let’s talk.”

Circle replied quickly, “Not today, I have to go to the headquarters in Shanghai soon for an urgent meeting.”

“Circle, work is important, but you can’t equate it with your wife and family, can you?”

“You know about the fight with Yan Yan?”

“Can fire really be hidden by paper?… I don’t care how important your meeting is, if I don’t see you in half an hour, don’t ever mention the word ‘brothers’ to me again.”

After saying that, I hung up the phone angrily… and lit a cigarette to calm myself down.

I’ve worked in a department store before, so I understand the importance of an emergency meeting, but why was I so unreasonably using the word “brothers” to threaten Circle?

Halfway through the cigarette, I finally understood. It was because Circle and Yan Yan, as a couple, carried the last hope of a college romance, the happiness I had always longed for… If even they fell apart, then there would no longer be that crystal-clear city in this world.

…

I waited for Circle at the barbecue restaurant we used to frequent in college, with beers ready. Half an hour passed quickly, but he didn’t show up, and I grew even more irritated.

Just as I was about to call him again, a black Land Rover stopped at the entrance of the barbecue restaurant, and Xiang Chen got out of the car, calling out from afar, “Zhao Yang, let’s have a few drinks first, Circle will be here soon.”

I immediately understood that giving Circle only half an hour was too harsh, but he really cared about the word “brothers,” so he had asked Xiang Chen to come first.

Xiang Chen sat down opposite me, poured a beer for me, and then one for himself. He raised his glass to me as a gesture to drink up.

I temporarily put aside my emotions and clinked glasses with him, but I couldn’t remember the last time the two of us sat down to drink together. How many years had it been?

Yet, this reunion of just the two of us made me feel uncomfortable!