CC chased me outside, then grabbed me and said, “After she left my restaurant this afternoon, she went straight to Shanghai. Do you think you can find her in Suzhou?”

I was stunned, but still asked hopefully, “Isn’t her flight tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes, that’s why she’s going to Shanghai tonight, to avoid the rush tomorrow!”

In the cold winter, it felt like a bucket of icy water was poured over my heart. But my desire to see Mi Cai didn’t fade. After a moment, I said in a low voice, “…I’ll go to Shanghai to find her.”

“But you need to contact her first, know which hotel she’s staying at.” CC said, pulling out her phone from her pocket and dialing Mi Cai’s number.

After a while, she shrugged helplessly and said, “She turned off her phone, she must be resting now.”

I lit a cigarette in a daze, took a few deep puffs, and gradually calmed down. Then I asked myself: If I find her now, what should I say to her?

Probably there’s nothing much to say, and it would only lead to an awkward silence. After all, it would be far-fetched for Mi Cai to say she likes me at this point, otherwise, she wouldn’t go to America with Wei Ran.

A mature love is not impulsive, it’s better to wait for a gentle breeze…

CC dragged me back into the bar, and I finally extinguished my impulse. But the desire to drink was ignited.

I drank a bottle of beer without stopping, then asked CC, “Actually, you don’t want me to go find her now, do you?”

CC nodded, “Your going will only make her feel awkward, because she is definitely going to America.”

“I didn’t want to keep her, I just suddenly wanted to see her.”

“Yes, you know it’s sudden… I hope your feelings are based on rationality, not impulse. Of course, impulse is not what Mi Cai wants!”

I drank half a bottle of beer in one breath, then said, “CC, maybe you’re right!”

CC patted my shoulder and said, “But don’t worry, if Mi Cai wanted to develop a romantic relationship with Wei Ran, they would have become a couple during their years as classmates in America. This time she’s going to America mainly to see her old friends there!”

I didn’t respond to CC, just leaned back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling in a daze, and Mi Cai’s face kept appearing in my mind.

……

When I got home, it was already late at night. After washing up, I turned on the TV to distract myself.

I randomly pressed the remote control and finally stopped at a talk show. I saw Le Yao on the show, but she was not the main guest. Most of the time, she was just a foil, occasionally speaking a few words. The topic around her was the scandal that was exposed last time. Le Yao handled it with ease, saying that the male actor was just a senior she admired. This made me think: she has gradually adapted to that circle.

I thought about myself, remembered the conversation with CC in the bar just now, and then looked at the days since I returned to Suzhou. I felt: I haven’t adapted to real life, on the contrary, I’ve deviated a lot. Because during this time, I never really thought about: how to survive in this city.

Including the wasted days after graduation, I’ve been living in this city for almost 4 years. Normally, I should be like Circle, having a stable job, a house of my own, and a woman to accompany me at night.

But, I still have nothing. No wonder every time I have an impulse towards Mi Cai, I suppress it. Because I really lack confidence. With what I have now, how dare I think about marrying Mi Cai and having her bear my children.

At this moment, I’m actually glad: I didn’t see Mi Cai tonight. In fact, compared to impulsively seeing her, I should think about how to plan my future. Because a responsible man must understand: before asking a woman for love, you have to see what you can give her?

If it’s just some ignorant impulses and empty promises, that’s far from enough… After all, my love with Jian Wei died because the promises couldn’t be fulfilled and the passion gradually faded.

So I started to plan my life, but I didn’t dare to plan too far. Because, once the bar is on track, I will face a choice: should I stay in Suzhou, or go back to Xuzhou?

Actually, I don’t have a particular preference for either city now. Staying in Suzhou is fine, and going back to Xuzhou to be with my parents seems even better!

But, no matter which city I choose in the end, I should prepare some money to buy a house, and think about my career. If I stay in Suzhou, I’ll continue to expand the bar. If I go back to Xuzhou, I’ll find a stable job.

In the quiet of the night, I set a short-term goal for myself. As for which city to live in, it depends on her. If there’s no possibility of love between us, I have no reason to stay in Suzhou. If we fall in love, I’m still willing to accommodate her, stay with her in Suzhou, and settle down.With such thoughts, my heart was no longer troubled. After setting a short-term goal, I felt a new sense of anticipation towards life and a surge of motivation!

…

The next day, when I woke up, it was almost noon. I picked up my phone to check the time, but unexpectedly, I received a WeChat message. It was from Mi Cai. The content was simple, a smug emoji followed by the words “I’m at the airport!”

I was a bit puzzled: Going to the airport is just that, why add a smug emoji? What’s there to be smug about? Is she mocking me for never having traveled abroad?

I chuckled and replied to her, “Have a safe trip… By the way, how long are you planning to stay in the U.S.?”

After sending the message, I checked the time. It was not yet 12 o’clock. If her flight was in the afternoon, she should still be at the airport, so her phone was probably still on. I fell into a state of waiting, even forgetting to wash up.

Finally, my phone rang. I quickly picked it up from the coffee table, but felt a bit disappointed. It wasn’t a reply from Mi Cai, but a call from Yan Yan.

I answered the call, asking in a low mood, “What’s up?”

“Be polite when talking to your sister…” Yan Yan said discontentedly.

“Sis, what’s up?”

Yan Yan on the other end of the phone finally chuckled and said, “Come over for lunch at my place. Manager Chen and Zhao Li are here too. You guys can have a few drinks, it’s been a long time since you all gathered!”

“Sure!” I agreed immediately. In fact, besides catching up over a meal, I wanted to chat with them and understand their work at Zhuomei during this period, because I really hoped they could help alleviate the pressure on Mi Cai.

“Tell me what kind of alcohol you want to drink, and I’ll go buy it for you.”

Just as I was about to answer, another WeChat notification sound came from my phone. I immediately said to Yan Yan, “Beer, gotta go.”

Without giving Yan Yan a chance to respond, I hung up and eagerly opened the WeChat message from Mi Cai.