After finishing a cigarette, CC sent me another WeChat message: “Zhao Yang, tell me the truth, do you really like Mi Cai?”
This question made my heart flutter. After a while, I calmed down and replied: “I do, but it’s like when you liked Robben. After you confessed to him, didn’t he distance himself from you for a long time? You almost lost him as a friend. So, please don’t let me repeat your mistake, okay?”
It seemed like I had unintentionally touched a sore spot for CC. After a long time, she replied: “I understand your worries, I’ve experienced it too… How about this, I’ll find an opportunity to ask her how she feels about you.”
“Please don’t. Don’t you know how smart and perceptive she is? If you give her even the slightest hint, she’ll know your intentions. I’d rather let things take their natural course, so please don’t interfere… okay, Sister CC?”
After a while, CC replied with a sigh, and our conversation ended there. Afterwards, I sat on my bed in a daze for a while before turning off the light, immersing myself in the gloomy night, repeating the anxiety of insomnia.
I started to daydream again, even fantasizing that one day I could sleep in the same bed with Mi Cai as her boyfriend or husband, talking about the helplessness of life, looking forward to the beauty of the future. Then the night would be as gentle as a cloud for me, because with her company, I could abandon all my anxieties and fall asleep peacefully. But… this is such an unrealistic fantasy, and all I can do is bury this fantasy deep in my heart and not touch it, so that the fantasy won’t turn into a tormenting desire!
…
Because I had insomnia for a long time, I didn’t get up until almost noon the next day. After a simple lunch, I started preparing the marketing promotion plan for the “Fifth Season” theme music bar. But my mind was still not clear, even after a brain-racking afternoon, I still couldn’t find a good marketing idea.
Looking at the sunset outside the window, I leaned tiredly on the chair. After finishing a cigarette, I took out my phone and dialed Mi Cai’s number. I wanted to arrange a meeting with Circle, Chen Jingming, and her tomorrow. This matter couldn’t be delayed too long. The sooner the result was determined, the sooner Circle and Chen Jingming could settle down.
A little while after dialing, Mi Cai answered the phone. I cut straight to the chase and said, “Are you free tomorrow?”
“Why?”
“If you’re free, I want to arrange for Circle, Chen Jingming, and you to meet, and try to finalize this matter as soon as possible.”
“Wait a bit…”
“Wait? Is it because you’re busy or for some other reason?”
“I have my reasons. As for the meeting time, let’s set it for a week later, okay?”
Although I felt a week was a bit long, this was a favor I was asking of Mi Cai, so I couldn’t be too pushy. After a moment of silence, I finally said, “Alright, we’ll go with your plan.”
“Mm.”
“Then you go ahead with your work, I won’t bother you anymore.”
“Wait…”
I asked with some confusion, “Is there anything else?”
“Um… I’m about to get off work, can I come over and eat the food you cooked?”
Mi Cai’s request left me a bit puzzled, and I asked, “Coming over for dinner is no problem, but aren’t you going to accompany Little Turtle? He came all the way back from America to see you!”
Mi Cai said seriously, “First of all, he didn’t come back from America specifically to see me. Besides, if I go with him and he confesses to me again, what should I do? I don’t want to experience the awkwardness of yesterday again!”
At this moment, I really wanted to record Mi Cai’s words and let CC hear them, to see if she still wanted to encourage me to confess my feelings to Mi Cai. At this moment, I was really glad that I was rational enough. Otherwise, I would be in Wei Ran’s shoes tomorrow, and I was more certain that all irrational confessions would definitely have repercussions.
After a moment of silence, I joked with Mi Cai, “You’re treating my place like a refuge, aren’t you?”
“Your words are wrong, the house is originally mine… By the way, did you buy the potted plants I asked you to?”
Feeling a bit embarrassed about Mi Cai’s reminder of the past, I replied, “I didn’t have the money to buy them.”
“Is it because you bought that race car?”
“Yes, but let’s keep things separate. I’ll definitely buy those potted plants when I have more money. I won’t default on my promise just because I gave you a race car.”
Mi Cai suddenly changed her tone to a relieved one, “Zhao Yang, I’m really relieved that a hopeless rogue like you can turn over a new leaf. Forget about the potted plants…”
I didn’t care about Mi Cai’s backhanded compliment, and retorted, “You’re feeling guilty about eating my food all the time, aren’t you?”
Caught by my words, Mi Cai quickly changed the subject, “Um… After dinner, let’s go to the square and play with the race car. I haven’t had a good time with it since you gave it to me!”I didn’t feel like arguing with her, and I thought her suggestion wasn’t bad. At least it could help me relax and relieve the fatigue of the day. So I agreed. However, after ending the call, I suddenly realized that the roles between Mi Cai and I had switched. It seemed like she was becoming more and more unscrupulous, and I was learning to enjoy her unscrupulousness. I just couldn’t be sure whether she enjoyed my unscrupulousness in the past or considered it a torment. I think it’s very likely the latter.
……
As night fell, I was busy in the kitchen, while Mi Cai, who had already returned, was reviewing documents in her room. This made me feel somewhat awkward. After all, I am a man and she is a woman. If we swapped the tasks we were currently doing, that would be a more appropriate situation. I thought: this is also the reason why I am reluctant to express my feelings to her. After all, not many men are willing to accept a situation where the woman is stronger in a relationship.
Finally, dinner was ready. I took off my apron and then served all the dishes on the table. Just as I was about to call Mi Cai for dinner, my phone unexpectedly rang.
It was a message from Jian Wei. The content was simple: “I’m by the moat, feeling a bit bored. If you have time, can you come and keep me company?”
I was immediately torn. This should be a moment to enjoy dinner amidst the lights of thousands of homes. But the thought of Jian Wei sitting alone by the moat in the cold wind was unbearable!
What’s been going on with her lately? In my subconscious, I always thought she was happy with Xiang Chen. Why would she so frequently go to the flowing moat to seek comfort after feeling lost?
In my confusion, Mi Cai came out of her room. Looking at the table full of delicious food, she exclaimed, “Tonight’s dinner is quite a feast, huh?… I’m in a good mood, I can have a little rice wine with you.”
I remained silent for a moment before saying to Mi Cai, “You eat first, I need to go out.”
Mi Cai immediately looked disappointed, “Can’t you eat first?”
I shook my head, then went back to my room to change into a thicker set of clothes. When I came out again, Mi Cai was not sitting at the table eating. She had returned to her room.
I hesitated for a moment, but in the end, I didn’t ask her why she wasn’t eating. I then opened the door and went downstairs, got in the car and drove towards the moat that held so many of my emotions, feeling increasingly worried, and even more afraid that Jian Wei was not happy…
After all, we once loved each other deeply! This was something Jian Wei had said to me not long ago, and at this moment, I was also consumed by this emotion.