It seemed like no one paid attention to the previous incident, and the banquet maintained a pleasant atmosphere throughout. Plenty of alcohol was consumed, after all, it was the weekend, and everyone was using the occasion to unwind.

 

However, I didn't indulge in drinking, as the renovation plan for the bar was still not finalized. I needed a clear mind to work towards the bar's future.

 

Looking at the time, it was almost half past midnight. I didn't feel like staying any longer, so I bid everyone farewell.

 

Stepping out of the hotel and breathing in the outdoor air, my mood finally lightened. I didn't know when Zhao Li had also followed me out of the hotel.

 

I lit a cigarette for myself before asking him, "Why did you come out too?"

 

"I have to attend a merchant management meeting organized by the company later," Zhao Li explained.

 

"Working overtime on the weekend, huh?" I sighed subconsciously.

 

Zhao Li chuckled, then asked me, "By the way, do you want my Alto car?"

 

"At what price?"

 

"Forget it, just take it. That car won't sell for much anyway, but I've maintained it well."

 

Without any hesitation, I said, "Alright, deliver it to my place after you finish your work."

 

While Zhao Li and I were talking, two men and a woman walked out of the hotel. I couldn't help but take a second look, as the woman walking with the two men was incredibly attractive.

 

Zhao Li said to me with a hint of envy, "Zhao Yang, do you know who those two men are?"

 

I shook my head to indicate that I didn't know, but I was sure they were successful individuals, as the cars they got into were all luxury vehicles.

 

"They're quite famous in the catering industry. One is Zhang Yixi, the head of Seaview Coffee, and the other, even more prominent, is Han Feng, the young master of Huali Group… They're both young entrepreneurs who have risen to prominence in the past two years! They're probably here in Suzhou for a business conference."

 

I remained silent, feeling a huge gap in our statuses, but I didn't envy them. Everyone has their own fate and fortune. After a while, I asked Zhao Li, "Who's the woman?"

 

"That's Chen Qingyi, Zhang Yixi's wife. She's a well-known female anchor." He sighed and added, "That's high society for you! We commoners can only look up and envy."

 

I chuckled and said, "How do you know that people in high society are necessarily living a good life? Maybe Zhang Yixi and that female anchor's marriage isn't even happy!"

 

"That's impossible. If I could marry a wife like that, I'd be satisfied for the rest of my life, and die without regrets!"

 

"Maybe when you reach that height, you won't think the same. People change, don't they, Zhao Li?"

 

Zhao Li pondered for a moment and said, "Maybe, who can truly understand another's world… I'm off to the company now, I'll deliver the car to you later."

 

I nodded, watching as the two men drove their luxury cars past me. I couldn't help but wonder, were their lives as glamorous as they appeared? At least I had Mi Cai by my side, who was equally glamorous, yet so lonely.

 

So, what should one pursue in life? And how valuable is material wealth?

 

I don't know! Maybe I'll never understand! Because life is an unsolvable problem.

 

***

 

Back at my place, I immersed myself in work again, finally finishing the renovation plan by late afternoon. Then, I started collecting information about various decoration companies in Suzhou online, hoping to improve the efficiency of negotiations tomorrow.

 

The sky outside the window had darkened. I closed my laptop, reclined in my office chair, lit a cigarette, and let my thoughts wander.

 

The smoke from my mouth filled the unlit room. Once again, I felt oppressed and heavy. The incident at the luncheon made me realize how much of a failure I had been these past years. I had fallen to the point where I needed my ex-girlfriend to defend my dignity. What had happened to me?

 

And Jian Wei must have been disappointed in me. I remember not long after she went to the United States, we hadn't broken up yet. One day, while we were video chatting, Jian Wei asked me if I had been working hard for our future. I took out a bag of lottery tickets from the cabinet and told her that was the result of my efforts.

 

That day, Jian Wei was furious with me, thinking I was unreliable… Although we kept in touch afterwards, the frequency gradually decreased until we broke up.

 

On the day we broke up, I held that pile of lottery tickets and cried my heart out, because Jian Wei didn't understand me… Buying lottery tickets wasn't unreliable, it was because I loved her too much, cared about her too much. I was afraid that I couldn't provide for her materially when she came back, even more afraid that I couldn't afford to marry her. So, I foolishly pinned my hopes on the lottery, buying ten tickets every day for several months.

 

Thinking about this, my heart ached again. Who can truly understand another's world when living? So Jian Wei would never understand the efforts I once made for our love. Before we broke up, I even sang in bars until dawn after work every day, just to earn a little more money.

 

No matter how tired, as long as I thought of the word "waiting" she wrote on the car window with lipstick when she left, I didn't feel tired. Thinking of the happiness we once fantasized about together, I felt that all the waiting was worth it.

 

But now I'm really tired, as if I can't find the direction in life, and I don't know what kind of love I want, or I have rejected love, because I don't want to bear the heart-wrenching pain again.

 

That's why I wanted to marry Li Xiaoyun, infatuated with the sense of security she once gave me. But do I really love her? I don't. So when Li Xiaoyun and I broke up, Mr. Ban didn't feel sorry, on the contrary, he thought I let Li Xiaoyun go!

 

This is a great irony, which makes me helpless and more painful.

 

Finally, the street lights outside the window lit up in the same posture as yesterday, and my mood gradually calmed down in the dimness. But inadvertently, I saw the guitar standing in the corner of the wall, engraved with my name and Jian Wei's… So I cried, I cried with grievance.

 

In my sobbing, I lit another cigarette for myself. In the diffuse smoke, I saw through the future. Even if I put a pair of wings on my current self, I couldn't reach the place I once fantasized about with Jian Wei!

 

***

 

The sound of car horns outside the window finally woke me up from my past memories. I looked out the window and saw Zhao Li driving his little Prince Otto to find me.

 

I quickly wiped the tears off my face. I could cry very sadly alone, but in front of others, I was still the same Zhao Yang who was naturally casual and didn't care about anything. Just like before, I could instantly put on a mask with a meaningless smile to face Zhao Li.